my boss sent me the following:
June 2, 2008
i’m sick…been in bed all day…watching lost…this is helping:
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris is the only reason why Waldo is hiding
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes
- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany
Mama
March 24, 2008
my mom has got to be one of the funniest ppl i know and here’s an example:
we were watching the game last night when the phone rang, my mom picked up:
Mama: Na3am
Stranger who my mom thinks is my cousin: Aloo..nayma?
Mama: Laa! a7ad enam hal 7aza?
Stranger who my mom thinks is my cousin: Bete3mely eih?
Mama: A3mel eih ya3ny? Batfarag 3ala game Arsenal o Chelsea
Stranger who my mom still thinks is my cousin: Mal sootek?
Mama: Enta ely mal sootak?
Stranger who my mom still thinks is my cousin: 3afwan Madam A7lam mawgooda?
Mama (still thinking its my cousin!): A7lam mein ya ebny? Ma 3andenash A7lam
Stranger: 6ab ana mouta’asef
Mama finally realizes its a wrong number and hangs up!
* just to clarify my mom is not egyptian o kanat bas ga3da testa3be6 (thinking its her nephew)
